Thursday, November 15, 2012

Wanting the Attainable


            I know I haven't written in exactly a month, I'm sorry readers. I got really swamped with work and had my whole schedule thrown off with hurricane sandy, but I'm back and will continue to blog more regularly, promise!

            I don’t know what it is but it always seems as if as soon as I start seeing/dating someone people start coming out of the woodwork and are suddenly interested in me when before they didn’t give me the slightest chance of day. Just one of life’s mysteries I suppose. It’s as if we as humans send out a different type of pheromone that smells like “unavailable” and people always want what they can’t have. People recently have been talking a lot more to me in bars/clubs when I go out than ever before. Even when I went upstate this past weekend I had a guy who I knew peripherally in my circle of friends show me some attention.
            Telling someone you are seeing someone or in a relationship is just awkward. There is no casual way to go about it. Normally, I don’t have that problem because I’m hardly ever in a relationship or seeing someone. I know there is nothing wrong with going on a casual dare with someone you aren’t exclusive with someone else, but in my case I am. Canada and I have been really good at communicating with each other. We might not talk everyday but every so often on updating each other about our lives and projects, work and friends.
            Just as awkward as telling someone you just met you are seeing someone is telling it to an old flame/ex-boyfriend/hookup buddy that you are. Recently I received a text from a guy who I shared some fun summer nights with. Ultimately, it didn’t work out because we were too opposite yet we continued to call each other every so often to have a couple drinks hangout and then go our separate ways in the morning with me usually making the “walk of shame” dressed in my going out attire on the train as people are heading to work.
            I’m not going to lie that we all want to feel attractive. I take it as a compliment that people are more into me, but at the same time they missed their chance. I remember that I once had a friend early in my college career that had an obvious attraction to me but I did not have one for him. Though it felt nice to be wanted I remember I would call him to hangout when my crush was busy or would blow me off. I know that sounds like I used him, and maybe I did to an extent, but I honestly did like him as a friend yet not romantically. We never once got together or hooked up except for one drunken regretful night. Anyway, one time I called him to go to a frat party with me and he said he couldn’t because he was going to go on a DHD (Dining Hall Date) and then watch movies in his dorm room with a guy from his math class. I felt myself immediately get jealous and asking a lot of questions about said guy, mentally comparing him with me in my head. It was just ridiculous. I never had a crush/liked my friend why, suddenly when he likes someone else, I want his affection back onto me?
            Maybe we should all put on our social media profiles that we are in a relationship just to see what the response is from the ones we actually like. Maybe they’ll show more interest. It would be a great social experiment. I’d study it.

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