I
know I know, it’s been a little more than 2 months since my last post, but
honestly there wasn’t much to keep you all updated with. Though, significant
changes have been in my life, and in so, my dating/love life that probably
should be mentioned. I’m sorry it’s been awhile, but from now on, I promise to
be on a stricter schedule of when I post.
Anyway,
the first change came with my phone. I finally got an IPhone and I know,
welcome to 2010, but hey, better late than never. With this new updated
technology I have decided to explore the world of on-line dating via phone app.
I mentioned before how I had tried online dating with dating profiles on
several different sites on the computer, but now with a smart phone, I can try
dating thru the multiple apps offered.
I
spoke before about the several different types of online sites I had tried, A4A,
Manhunt and the reputable OkCupid, well, in the smart-phone world, there are
also the same degrees of which apps are more conducive to dating, hooking up,
and just trading teasing pictures. Of these apps, I have Grindr. I think Grindr
in the app that put smart-phone dating on the map. Men put their primary photo
up of their choosing (as long as it’s not fully nude) and fill out a tiny box
of your description and the label their stats and wait for others to respond.
Though they are the fore runners of app-dating, they are mostly notorious for
being a “hook-up” dating site, much like A4A or manhunt. That’s not to say
people don’t date off Grindr and actually meet people worth pursuing, it’s just
not prevalent.
I
did a little social experiment with this app and first uploaded a picture of
me, just my face, with my signature hat, smile, and posing angle of ¾ quarter
profile, and wasn’t topless which most of the people on Grindr are: shirtless.
I got a few hits every now and then but mostly from people who would say hello
and asked if I was hung, horny, and if I was “looking” for a quickie. Occasionally
I talked to someone worth my time, yet nothing ever developed into actual meet
up. People are willing to talk, and chat sometimes, but never looking for
anything serious.
Sometime
later I had gone down to the beach with my friend for the weekend and took
several “selfie” photos of me laying out on the beach getting a tan, and
immediately switched my profile image to one of these shots. Once again, though
I was shirtless, the image only showed my face wearing sunglasses, and a hat,
the most someone can see is my bare shoulder with my tank-top tan lines.
I will admit, this picture far more "cheeky" and teasing than the previous one I uploaded and as
soon as the picture got approved by the apps moderators, the messages started
to flow in. More than ever I got the usual: “Looking?” “Horny” “Hung” as well
as a few interesting requests: “How much do you want for me to blow you?”
I
just found it so interesting that once I was back in NYC with my new profile image
the messages continued and I even got people I tried to chat with who never
responded weeks before now trying to chat with me. I think you missed your
chance buddy. Though I still have Grindr and go on occasionally to see who’s
around and up, it’s not a site that I know nothing serious or significant will
come from it. I have to say, that it does feel nice to receive these messages.
It’s a little ego boost and who doesn’t want to feel wanted or attractive?
But
I really can’t help but wonder that we always get mad when we meet someone from
one of these online dating sites/apps and when the person doesn’t look like
their pictures we immediately right them off and never speak to them again. The
first time, I showed everyone a very clear visible picture of who I was, and
got a couple responses, nothing too positive really, but when I uploaded a
picture of me, wearing sunglasses and hat, and barely showing anything, the
flood gates opened. I can really be anyone underneath those sunglasses and hat.
You could make me out to be anything. If I ever were to meet someone and I didn’t
look like they had pictured, they’d write me off. Why do we get mad at this
cycle yet continue to do it to each other? Is online/app dating really worth it?
We search and search and are never truly open to chat with someone who might be
a nice guy. Do you seriously judge each other that much on looks and appearance
even when we try and not? Because I know that if someone messaged anyone of you
without a picture up, you would move along and not respond.
